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Just some
of my thoughts




Being Thankful

11/22/2019

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​Me Again…
Did you forget who I am yet? Actually, it has only been a few months since my last blog, which is a big improvement from the past. Right? So, what shall I talk about today? How about being thankful since it is almost Thanksgiving. There are so many people who are constantly complaining about the rising costs of things, not making enough money, working too much, etc. Well, why don’t we all just step back and look at things from a different point of view?
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I grew up in a normal middle-class home with both my parents and my sister. We were happy kids for the most part, although I probably was showing signs of depression even back then. I quit school at 16 so I could run around and hang out with friends even though I was a good student with awesome grades. In fact, when I took my GED test, I got a full scholarship to college. But of course, I did not do anything with it because I was too busy hanging out with friends. 
​Anyway, I acted like an irresponsible kid for a long time, got pregnant, and had a decent relationship with the father. Then I met a man who I thought was amazing and got together with him, getting pregnant again. Then he became abusive. A few times I threw him out, but I would always let him come back. Anyway, that went on until I found out he had another woman who he had a child with that was the same age as our child. Funny, I did not give up on him after he beat me up, but after he cheated on me, it was over. 
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​So, fast forward a dozen years and I am married with four kids now and pretty much a captive. The man I married was so abusive and controlling I could not do anything but try to keep him happy all the time. I started drinking a lot and just shut out everyone else. My family had already given up on me. Anyway, after 12 years of marriage, I finally got the courage to get rid of him for good. Got a divorce and restraining order and tried making it on my own. 
Fast forward again, but only about a year. Now I am homeless and living in a shelter and my two youngest children are with my abusive ex-husband. The one I tried so hard to get rid of. My older two live with the family of their boyfriends. Yes, they were dating brothers and I let the parents take temporary custody because I had nowhere to go. And I moved on to another shelter. Where I finally found out what was wrong with me. After seeing a therapist and getting on medication, I finally felt like a human being. It was like waking up after being asleep my whole life. 
So, fast forward again to now. I have a wonderful husband, my kids are grown and awesome, and I have 18 amazing grandkids. I also have my own business and my hubby, and I live in our dream home on Table Rock Lake. Yes, I went from being homeless to living in my dream home with my dream man and working at my dream job. I am not bragging. I am trying to make a point. 
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​My point is… anyone can do whatever they want if they try. I got lucky by getting help in time. I found out that I had severe clinical depression and found the perfect medications. It took a long time to find the right combination of meds and therapy, but I’ve been on these for over 15 years and now I feel great. A therapist saved me. Which is why I am in the process of getting my PhD in Psychology. Yes, that is my dream as well. I want to help others like me. I am doing my dissertation on the lived experiences of homeless women. 
So, quit complaining about money and working and whatever you don’t have. Be happy for what you have. And if you are not happy, do something about it. I went from homeless to being an entrepreneur getting my PhD and living in my dream home with my dream man. So, you can do it too. Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts…
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